What’s Reasonable to Ask Bridesmaids to Pay For? A Guide to Keeping It Fun and Fair
Introduction
Being a bridesmaid can be an honor, but it can also come with unexpected costs that add up fast: dresses, bachelorette parties, travel, hair, makeup, and more. As a bride-to-be, it’s important to balance your dream wedding with respect for your bridesmaids’ time, money, and boundaries. How much is too much to ask? What’s reasonable? This guide breaks it all down, offering practical tips for navigating this tricky topic while maintaining your friendships—and your wedding budget.
1. What’s Traditionally Expected?
Historically, bridesmaids were only expected to purchase their dress and shoes. However, modern wedding culture often asks more from bridal parties, from travel expenses to covering bachelorette costs. While some traditions have evolved, others remain the same—what’s considered reasonable may depend on your budget, their finances, and the location of your wedding.
2. How to Approach Dresses and Attire
Keep it Affordable: Bridesmaids should expect to pay for their dresses, but you can make it easier by:
- Choosing a Budget-Friendly Option: Dresses under $150 from sites like Birdy Grey or Azazie are popular picks.
- Offering Flexibility: Instead of one specific dress, provide a color palette and let them pick their style.
- Optional Matching Accessories: If you want cohesive jewelry, consider gifting it as part of your bridesmaid thank-you.
Hair and Makeup: If you want everyone’s look to be professionally done for cohesion, the cost should be covered by you. If you make hair and makeup optional, ensure there’s no judgment for those who prefer to DIY.
3. Travel Expectations: How Much is Too Much?
Weddings that require travel are increasingly common, but asking your bridal party to travel multiple times for different events can be overwhelming. Here’s how to reduce the burden:
- Combine Events: Host a bridal shower and bachelorette party during the same weekend if your bridesmaids live far away.
- Local Options: For destination weddings, consider hosting the bachelorette where the wedding is happening, just a few days before.
- Be Flexible: Understand that some bridesmaids may not be able to attend every pre-wedding event due to costs or PTO limits.
4. Bachelorette Parties: Balancing Fun with Budget
Destination bachelorette parties can get expensive quickly. Flights, accommodations, meals, and activities can cost $1,000+ per person, and not everyone can afford that. To keep costs reasonable:
- Survey the Group: Send an anonymous poll asking about budgets and preferences before planning.
- Choose a Local or Drivable Location: A one-night celebration at a local restaurant, Airbnb, or even a cozy movie night can be just as meaningful.
- Cover Key Costs: If the group is covering their expenses, consider paying for the Airbnb or a group dinner to thank them.
5. Bridal Showers: Who Pays?
Bridal showers are often hosted by a family member, like your mom or aunt, or by close friends outside the bridal party. Bridesmaids can chip in, but they shouldn’t be expected to fully cover the cost. Make it clear that their attendance is appreciated but not required, especially if it involves travel.
6. Clear Communication is Key
The #1 source of tension? Lack of communication about costs. To avoid misunderstandings:
- Be Transparent: When you ask someone to be a bridesmaid, outline the potential costs upfront.
- One-on-One Conversations: Check in with each bridesmaid individually to understand their financial comfort zone.
- Be Understanding: If someone declines or skips an event, don’t take it personally—they may have financial or personal limitations.
7. If You Require It, Cover It
A good rule of thumb: If you’re requiring something, it’s your responsibility to pay. This includes:
- Specific dresses or accessories.
- Professional hair and makeup.
- Destination bachelorette parties.
If that’s not within your budget, offer flexibility so your bridesmaids can choose what works best for them.
8. How to Keep the Friendship First
Your bridesmaids are your closest friends and family, not your personal wedding staff. Focus on making the experience enjoyable for everyone by prioritizing their well-being and comfort. Remember, what matters most is having them by your side, not how much they spend on the event.
Conclusion
Asking your bridesmaids to spend money on your wedding is unavoidable, but it doesn’t have to be stressful. By keeping things affordable, combining events, and being open about expectations, you can ensure your bridal party feels appreciated, not overwhelmed. After all, weddings are about celebrating love—not about breaking the bank.
Want to simplify wedding planning even further? Check out the Manjasheets Wedding Budget Spreadsheet to stay organized and keep everyone on track!
