February 01, 2025

Planning a Gay Wedding? Here Are the Unexpected Differences to Consider

Planning a wedding is always an adventure, but for LGBTQ+ couples, the process can come with a few unique twists. Many traditions are rooted in heteronormativity—think the bride being "given away" or the groom giving a speech. But when you’re planning a same-sex wedding, you get to rewrite the rules to fit your love story.

So, what are some of the unexpected differences when planning a gay wedding? Let’s dive in!

1. Who Walks Down the Aisle?

One of the most noticeable differences is the aisle entrance. Traditional weddings usually involve a bride walking down the aisle while the groom waits at the altar. But with two grooms (or two brides), you have options!

Walk in together – A powerful symbol of unity.
Enter from separate aisles – A dramatic and elegant way to meet in the middle.
Have one partner walk down first – Some couples choose to follow tradition with a personal twist.

💡 Real Example: One lesbian couple shared that they’re using two aisles so no one is “waiting” at the altar. They wanted a gender-neutral and balanced approach to the ceremony.

2. Getting Ready Spaces May Feel Gendered

Many wedding venues have bridal suites (floral decor, big mirrors) and groom’s rooms (leather couches, whiskey vibes). If neither space feels right, consider:

Requesting a neutral space for both partners to get ready together.
Transforming one space to better fit your aesthetic.
Skipping the tradition entirely and getting ready together in the same room!

💡 Real Example: One couple mentioned that their venue only had one prep area labeled “for the bride,” which felt odd for two grooms. They ended up getting ready at a hotel instead.

3. Who Gives a Speech?

It’s common for the groom to give a thank-you speech at the reception, but what happens when there are two grooms (or two brides)?

Do you both give speeches?
Does one partner take the lead?
Do you scrap it entirely and have a close friend speak instead?

💡 Fun Moment: A gay groom once started his speech by asking the crowd, “Raise your hand if this is your first gay wedding!” It was a lighthearted way to acknowledge the uniqueness of the event while setting a fun tone for the night.

4. The First Dance – Who Leads?

For straight couples, it’s often assumed that the groom leads the first dance. But for same-sex couples, there’s no set rule!

You can take turns leading.
One partner can do the first dip, and the other can return the favor later.
You can choreograph something unique and unexpected!

💡 Pro Tip: If you're nervous about dancing, a short dance lesson can help you both feel more confident.

5. Wedding Party Roles – No More Gender Rules

Traditional weddings separate wedding parties into bridesmaids and groomsmen. But what if you don’t fit those labels?

Mixed-gender wedding parties – Have a mix of friends stand by your side, regardless of gender.
No wedding party at all – Some couples ditch the concept entirely.
Creative titles – Instead of "Maid of Honor" or "Best Man," go with terms like "Best Person" or "Wedding VIP."

💡 Real Example: One lesbian couple called their wedding party “The I Do Crew.”

6. Which Traditions Do You Keep (or Skip)?

Straight weddings come with a list of traditions, like bouquet tosses and garter removals. But do these fit a same-sex wedding?

Bouquet Toss? Some couples toss a bouquet to everyone, not just single women.
Garter Toss? This is becoming less common overall.
Parent Dances? You can both do a dance with a parent or scrap the tradition.

💡 Pro Tip: Think of traditions as a menu, not a checklist—you get to pick what fits!

7. Dealing with Venue & Vendor Assumptions

Even in 2025, some venues and vendors still assume all weddings are straight. When reaching out to vendors:

✅ Ask if they have experience with LGBTQ+ weddings.
✅ Notice how they word their forms (do they assume “bride and groom”?)
✅ Read reviews to see if other LGBTQ+ couples had positive experiences.

💡 Real Example: Some venues only had forms with “Bride’s Name” and “Groom’s Name.” A same-sex couple had to manually cross out and adjust forms, which was frustrating.

8. Legal & Family Considerations

Thankfully, LGBTQ+ marriage is legally recognized in many places. However:

Some family members might not be supportive—decide early who to invite.
Some places may still have bureaucratic hurdles (like outdated forms).
If traveling for a destination wedding, check local marriage laws.

💡 Pro Tip: Have open conversations with family early on to avoid last-minute stress.

Conclusion: Make It Your Own

The best part of planning a gay wedding? You’re not bound by outdated traditions. You get to craft a wedding that reflects your love story, not society’s expectations.

From aisle walks to speeches, dances, and traditions, every detail is up to you. Want to track all these decisions in an easy, stress-free way? Try the ManjaSheets Wedding Budget Spreadsheet! It helps you stay on top of everything from vendor costs to seating charts—so you can focus on celebrating your love.